Return to School

If you’d asked me last week whether or not I was ready for the kids to return to school I might have said no. 

After re-establishing the pecking order at the start of the holidays things went surprisingly swimmingly. Further, upon returning home from a two-week beach holiday they were kept happily entertained re-discovering their Christmas toys to the point I didn’t even need to consult the “Surviving the Holiday” tips I’d cut out of a magazine.

But then, earlier this week, while I was enjoying this newfound time-out as the kids companionably turned their lounge upside down one floor below, Miss Four knocked out Master Sixes tooth and all hell broke lose.

Jolted back to my senses I raced downstairs to the tune of Master Six screaming blue murder. There I found him grasping his mouth, which was gushing with blood while Miss Four clutched her stomach looking sick at what she’d done.

“I might just put myself on the naughty step,” she uttered amongst the racket, leaving the room.

It was hard to stay mad at her after that.

By now we should be used to Master Six’ dramas every time he loses a tooth. It’s always a fiasco once he spots blood. After I’d cleaned him up and calmed him down I went back to Miss Four on the naughty stair and let her tentatively near her brother to see the damage and apologise.

The blood had stopped but he now had three top teeth in a row missing and was standing over the basin whimpering with Master Four’s arm around him while looking daggers at his sister in the mirror.

“You’re going to be rich with all these teeth falling out,” I said trying to distract him from potential retaliation.

“But mum,” piped up Miss Four. “Why does the tooth fairy want his teeth?”

“Because she buys them off him and takes them back to fairy land and makes necklaces out of them,” I replied making something up on the spot and feeling quite pleased about it. “That’s why you have to keep them clean – she only buys nice white teeth.”

“But why does the tooth fairy want necklaces?” she persisted, totally missing my point.

Anyway, the tooth fairy (who is now broke) paid well that night to make up for the pain. But this unscheduled debacle was the beginning to the end - cue World War Three.

Come Wednesday I’d had quite enough of playing referee amid the tales and tears, the banter of who’s marrying who (yes, they’re still obsessed with that) and calling each other “Poo-poo diaper babies” (in American accents) courtesy of the (soon to be banned) Cartoon Network channel.

So now they are safely ensconced within their respective school gates I’ve managed to restore the house back to its former glory and can breathe a sigh of relief that we made it through the holidays intact, bar several missing teeth.