Geriatric

I’ve always loathed looking young. Silly huh? Up until two year’s ago I’d always, begrudgingly, have my ID at the ready.

“How dare this young shot question my age when I am their senior,” I’d quietly seethe.

But then it stopped and it gradually dawned on me that I had finally caught up to my true age.

I blame having twins of course. And being an insomniac.

As always, the grass is always greener and I wanted what I no longer had. So it got to the point this week where I decided to do something about it. My first kid-free day in weeks due to the school holidays, armed with a shopping list half a metre long I eagerly went to town. I approached a woman in the pharmacy with my plight who pointed out an array of natural cleansers, toners and skin illuminators.

I decided on just one of the above and made my purchase. I was about to head happily on my way when she looked at me and said “But you don’t need to worry anyway, you’ve got lovely skin for your age.”

I should have taken the compliment and left it at that but I just had to query it didn’t I? “But how old do you think I am?” I asked the 50-plus woman, expecting her to pull out a figure in the 20s.

“Let me see,” she peered at me quizzically. “I’d say you’re about … 46.”

What the …

Was she taking the p***? I stood before her, mouth open and realised by her stumbled cover up that she was not.

I left the shop reeling. Maybe she has a really badly misguided sense of judgement or maybe she just took an instant disliking to you and felt like insulting you, I tried to console myself. Or maybe she took me for a sucker and wanted to make commission from my repeat purchases based on my new-found complex.

Whatever it was, it worked. After purchasing a pair of oversize sunnies I decided to cut my shopping trip short – I was no longer in the mood to be seen in public. Driving home I was still shaking my head at the absurdity of it when I realised what I had to do: 1. Get more sleep, 2. Definitely NOT have any more children and 3. Stock up on all the other recommended products – but from the opposition!