“Mum, can you please play Lego with me?”
“No, I’m too busy,” came my standard stressed-out
answer.
I am noticing many stressed-out mummies around me
lately and I am also noticing a lot of the stress seems to be brought on by
ourselves. We take on too much and it’s ultimately our kids who suffer.
Until recently, my own stress culminated in a big
life change. I was running myself ragged and then wondering why I couldn’t
sleep. Adrenaline had a lot to do with this and four hours sleep over a 24-hour
period night after night cannot be good for you. Sleeping pills and Panadol
featured regularly where exercise had long gone out the window. I hadn’t seen
my friends for months, despite their proximity to me, and found myself shunting
the kids off to bed at the earliest possible moment without spending any quality
time with them. Where did the two most important things - whanau and health -
fit in?
We think we’re invincible but my body began
telling me otherwise. Strange things were happening and, after no longer being
able to ignore it, I finally listened to the signals and, making the mistake of
Googling extensively, was convinced I had a serious illness.
With this in mind, my life flashed before my eyes.
A series of tests and a few hundred dollars later, and after a tormenting wait,
the answer turned up: stress.
Well I could do something about stress. I felt
like I’d been given a second chance and so began my new life.
This meant the hard decision of leaving my job. I
explained to the kids that we were going to be very poor from now on but that
mummy would have a lot more time for them and wouldn’t be so grumpy. They voted
unanimously for a stay-at-home non-grumpy, albeit poor, mum.
The first thing I did was write a list of all the
things I love doing. I was shocked to find not a single item featured in my
life.
As a result, I now make the time to exercise, attend
the kids’ events, re-establish idle friendships, make future plans, write, keep
on top of my home and gardens and am averaging five or six hours sleep. That
one’s still a work in progress. But more importantly, every day I make a point
of spending one-on-one time with my kids. It may mean dinner is an hour late
but the look in their eyes and change in behaviour is worth it.
I now refer to this list every day to keep myself
on track and remind myself why I did this.
Christmas this year will be far from extravagant
and the kids have been forewarned. They seemed fine with it. And someone
reminded me the other day that it’s not the materialistic things they will look
back on, but the experiences.
So any stressed out mummies reading this, I recommend
writing a similar list and see if the items feature in your life. If so, well
done – I’ve re-joined your club.
Now I must be off, I have a date to play Lego with
my son.