Beware The Pokemon Players

“What do you do, before you cross the street, you stop, you look, you listen.

“What do you do, before you move your feet, you stop, you look, you listen.

“You look to the right and the left and the right, and when you’re sure, you’re really sure there’s not a car in sight -“

Wait, stop the bus! This song from my childhood needs a re-write.

Who’s sick of the word Pokemon? I am. It’s so July 2016 but the fact is there are still Pokemon players out there in force. This was brought to my attention when we decided to have a quiet drink recently at the Town Basin. This usually isn’t a good idea with kids but they are now of the age where you can buy some time with a glass of fizz before they run off and entertain themselves.

Which is duly what happened until they ran off and one promptly crashed into a Pokemon player.

I rounded them back up. “Okay guys. Many of the young adults around here won’t be looking where they are going so you are going to have to watch out for them,” I explained, reminiscent of the pep talk I gave them at the Fritter Festival in March to beware the drunks.

But kids being kids, high on raspberry fizz and excited to be outside on a rare wintery, sunny day, of course they didn’t look where they were going and so a few more crashes ensued. And it’s not just kids these people glued to their devices are having near-misses with.

With the way things are heading, perhaps the school principal down south who absurdly installed signage for motorists to beware the teenagers crossing on their phones, was onto something after-all.

“… and when you’re sure, you’re really sure there’s not a (Pokemon player) in sight, then you smartly, march across the (park), marching, marching all the way.”

NB: According to my school-teacher mother, I have remembered the song wrong anyway.

That Annoying Beeping Noise

"Beep … beep … beep … beep …” came a sound from somewhere within the vicinity of the dash.

Seatbelt was on, the doors were all closed …

“Beep, beep, beep, beep …!” The sound sped up as I continued driving. A quick scan behind the steering wheel revealed no lights flashing at me …

“Be-be-be-be-be-be-be …!” It was now frantic.

That was it – the car was about to blow up. I pulled over and grabbed my bag and prepared to abandon vehicle, making a dramatic run for it as the car exploded behind me in a ball of flames…

… When the beeping stopped.

Phew. I regained my composure and carried back on my merry way.

“Beep … beep … beep … beep …”

What the heck?!

I looked at the DVD/reverse camera screen – it was displaying Japanese characters, probably indicating the GPS was on. Ah, that was it!

“Beep, beep, beep, beep!”

Like I know how to work a GPS, let alone one in Japanese which is probably set for some far-flung route on the other side of the world. No wonder it was now going crazy – I was probably about to drive off a cliff in Japan. 

“Be-be-be-be-be-be-be …!”

I began stabbing my finger wildly at the screen, hoping to shut it down, but to no avail.

This time I wasn’t falling for it’s prank. I continued on driving, determinedly trying to ignore the loud beeping filling the car.

There was no explosion and eventually it beeped itself out. Obviously it was resigned to the fact I was destined to drive over a Japanese cliff, if I hadn’t already. 

No, I would Google it when I got home, or get it checked out at the mechanics. There’d be a simple explanation, like that time I thought there was a major mechanical fault but, no, it was just a button the kids had pushed when they’d been playing in the car.

But do you think I ever got round to doing so? After months of my Japanese import tormenting me by only ever beeping when I was alone, I was finally enlightened after swapping cars for the day with a mate.

“Oh, and did it do that funny beeping thing at you?” I asked when we swapped back.

“Yeah it’s just telling you the person in the passenger seat hasn’t got their seat belt on,” he casually replied.

“But I never had anyone in the passenger seat.”

“You would’ve had your bag sitting there. It’s a seat weight sensor.” 

Shame!

Riight.

Note to self: Buckle oversize handbag to passenger seat.