Spring Fever

Ask any teacher if spring fever affects their children and they will most likely roll their eyes to the heavens and shake their head knowingly.

Along with other symptoms, kids become more restless, disruptive, rowdy and generally silly.

Spring fever is said to be driven by the body’s reaction to its changing environment; the increased amount of sunlight. Along with improved moods this brings a better climate for romance in mammals, including humans.

And it would seem my children are no exception.

Not that they would ever admit this. The hot topic in our household at the moment is boyfriends, girlfriends, getting dumped and marriage. But they’re in denial: as far as the boys are concerned, girls are disgusting and vice-versa.  According to Master Six, his siblings have a string of boyfriends and girlfriends which change on a daily basis. In amongst dumpings, his four-year-old brother is going to marry Polly, Ava and Rudy (names changed) from kindy and his four-year-old sister will marry Jack, Harley and Trey (names changed), also from kindy. Heck, sometimes they will even marry each other. This is, of course, followed by uproarious laughing on his part.

If the tables are turned and one of the twins dare utter the name of a female in Master Six’ class, along with the word ‘marry’, all hell breaks loose.

According to my lot getting married is disgusting and, this being the ultimate sin, if ever I’ve done wrong by them (in their eyes), the response is: “You’re going to marry daddy!”

Oops, too late.

This revelation is met by a chorus of “Ewwwwws!”

“But Jayla,” I said one day as I unpacked a box of photographs and stumbled upon a wedding one, only to be met with the above response, “I’ve kept my wedding dress for you to wear one day.”

“Ew, no way,” she said running away.

Her brothers may have corrupted her for now but, one day I’ll win her back.

I remember the days when their older brother – the instigator of it all – was innocently oblivious to all this nonsense. I had read his four-year-old self a book about a frog who seemed to be having a problem with something inside his chest going “thump-thump”. After seeking advice from his animal friends, frog was finally diagnosed as being in love with a duck. He decided to impress duck by breaking the world high jump record but he landed on his head and made a fool of himself.

Never fear, it ended well. Duck nursed frog back to health and they went on to marry and live happily ever after.

But I digress. The next day we were walking up the hill to kindy. I was pushing the stroller while Master Four ran ahead. When he got to the top he stopped and turned round, his hand on his chest, brow furrowed in bewilderment.

“Mum,” he declared puffing. “I think I must be in love.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“Because my heart won’t stop going “thump-thump.”