Christmas 2014 Notes to Self.

By the time this is read we’ll be out the other side of Christmas and, I imagine, holidaying in our respective camping or beach spots around the country.

But before I completely shut off from festive-mode there’s a few “notes to self for Christmas 2014” I need to record while they’re still fresh.

1. Come up with a looooong list of ways to entertain the kids on Christmas Eve. While the boys weren’t too bad at amusing themselves, Miss Five drove me nuts with her excitement. This included getting Santa’s beer, snack and note ready at 8am (I hope he liked his beverage at room temperature), and pouring Rudolph’s water in a bucket and labeling it with a picture of a reindeer, just in case he missed it. Which begged the question from Master Five – How were we going to get it on the roof?

The day dragged - By 10am we’d walked up to the dvd shop, by midday they’d watched their Christmas dvd and so I resorted to letting them get out their Christmas “stockings” early and leave them out on their beds. When I next went downstairs, there they were – dutifully lined up on their MADE beds! But once I got past this astonishing sight I was momentarily stunned by my own stupidity for buying such ridiculously large Santa sacks. How on earth was I going to fill these up?!

Next on the list was making the frozen Christmas cake ice cream that an increasingly-bored Miss Five helped with, which brings me to number two:

2. Don’t be so heavy-handed on the alcohol which goes in this;

3. Likewise with the egg nogg. Earlier in the week I’d looked up the recipe and, according to Martha Stuart, you need milk, eggs, sugar, cream and nutmeg. Then, if you wish, add the alcohol of your choice. I’d decided she’d got this all wrong and, according to my recipe, you added all the alcohol in your cupboard, then the other five ingredients before serving it up to your family.

Even I had to admit this year’s mix was a little strong;

4. When you think the kids are asleep and it’s time to dump all the presents you’ve acquired over the year on the floor to sort into piles for wrapping – they’re not;

5. Don’t dispose of Santa and Rudoph’s snacks too early for this reason;

6. Keeping them up late never guarantees a sleep-in;

7. Always have scissors on hand to cut off all the annoying packaging;

8. Always have batteries on hand for the new toys;

9. Always give each kid the same amount of presents for they will count them;

 And lastly:

10. When you get those annoying last-minute Secret Santa requests when you think you’ve completed your Christmas shopping and can’t be fecked going back into town on Christmas Eve so wrap up some crap from around your house instead, make sure it’s not something someone who is likely to be present has given you a previous year. Awkward.

Apart from that I wouldn’t change a thing.

Have a great holiday.