Lifestyle Imbalance

“How I see maths problems: If you have four pencils and I have seven apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don’t wear hats.”

I had an 'aha' moment when this post popped up on my Facebook page this week.

I’m convinced a large chunk of my left-hand side brain – the side that deals with numbers – is missing.

I am completely dense when it comes to maths, hence why it’s taken me till now to work out this whole lifestyle balance equation.

It turns out taking a four-day break isn’t enough after crashing and burning because the sudden lifestyle change from stay-at-home mum to working mum.

It fixed things temporarily but the stress-induced headaches I’d been experiencing began creeping back. This was because I hadn’t changed anything.

I was still trying to cram everything into the evenings that I used to do during the day – housework, gardens, groceries, washing, appointments, exercise, Shortland Street - as well as the whole, dinner, making lunches, bathing, homework, story routine.

It got to the point where, on Monday, we finally got in the door after 6pm (this is late when you have most of the above to still do) after having dragged the kids to two appointments, and saw the vicious circle of it all.

One of the appointments had been to the chiropractor to try and fix the chronic headaches which were causing me to lose focus. I returned home and was trying to cook a late dinner surrounded by chaos and hungry children.

Glancing at my ‘to-do’ list every few minutes I felt the stress build as I realised I couldn’t possibly get through it all and the Monster-Mummy started to emerge.

I had to get the kids to bed so I could get stuff done!

I must’ve been scary for I found the twins had put themselves to bed with Miss Five hunched under the covers in a little ball.

When I pulled the duvet back I was met with a timid, sad face.

“I will try and be good tomorrow mummy,” she said in a tiny voice.

At that moment everything stopped.

Of course it wasn’t her fault - I had been taking out my stress and lack of priortising on the kids.

When I stepped back and put everything into perspective I had the epiphany that I was busting a gut to get to a job that I love, but was not able to enjoy fully or give 100 per cent to because of the chaos that had generated over the last few weeks. What’s more, I was spending the money I earned fixing problems brought about by this lifestyle imbalance and my priorties were all wrong.

It came down to what I needed to drop and keep in order to create a happier family.

Exercise creates endorphins meaning a happier mummy. Happy mummies equal happy kids. To fit in exercise, something needed to give.

When I look back as an old grandma will I really care that my house had been clean week-in, week-out?

Probably not but I do find it hard to function surrounded in mess. Putting aside feeling like a failure at no longer being able to do my own housework and looking at the big picture, I paid a visit to my neighbour and hired her to do my weekly housework.

Perhaps, if the budget allows, I will hire someone to do the gardening (or perhaps I’m dreaming) and there’s always online grocery shopping.

It’s small steps but hopefully this frees up time for the important things because, at the end of the day, it's about keeping the Mummy Monster at bay and spending quality time with the kids before they fly the nest.

So although it’s taken me a while I think I’ve finally cracked the code. That was quite an equation and almost brought about another headache.

Phew.

# For more on this, watch Dr Libby Weaver's recent talk on The Pace of Modern Life Versus Our Cave Woman Biochemistry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJ0SME6Z9rw