Dropping Us In It

As parents we think our kids are pretty funny, but it’s teachers, with their 20-plus school children a day, who undoubtedly have the last laugh.

Despite our best parental efforts, it can all be undone by our offspring innocently dropping us in it. It’s just as well we don’t ever find out a lot of the things our children unwittingly reveal about family life that could leave us red-faced while bringing some amusement to their teacher’s day.

This week it was my family that provided some entertainment.

Miss Five apparently wore one of her bracelets to school one day and showed her teacher. At first glance the colourful bangle with the green palm tree leaves looked pretty enough. But, on closer inspection from her sharp-eyed teacher, the idyllic-looking palm tree leaves turned out to be marijuana leaves surrounded by Rastafarian colours disguised in an outer layer of pinks and purples.

“Where did you get this from?” she asked the innocent-looking pig-tailed red head, while trying hard to keep a straight face.

“Nana brought it back from holiday,” Miss Five declared proudly.

It just so happens that Miss Five’s nana teaches at the same school. So, when the two caught up in the staff room at lunch time, the teacher filled Miss Five’s bewildered nana in, before they both had a good chuckle over what had been an innocent and well-meaning present of a pretty bracelet for a grand child.

After mum somewhat sheepishly filled me in briefly on the day’s events after-school, in a shot at redemption (and attempt at pointing the finger), I went home and sent a quick email to the twin’s teacher.

“I hear you like my daughter’s marijuana bracelet that her NANA gave her! :)”, just to be clear.

But, alas, it would seem Master Five had already accrued further demerit points to my mothering skills:

“Oh and (Master Five) wrote a story today about going to the pub over the weekend,” she replied. “What a hoot of a day!”

In my defense, it wasn’t actually a pub – it was a restaurant, and it wasn’t with me. Master Five also once wrote an elaborate story about going to KFC, including what he ate and how it tasted when he hadn’t done any such thing. Why he chose to make that up when he’d actually gone away for the weekend and taken part in a myriad of fun activities is beyond me.

Then there was the time Miss Five … Actually I could go on defending myself till the cows come home. Perhaps I will just cover all bases now by saying “It’s all lies” (except the good bits of course).