Attention Seeking

Why is it that as soon as you pick up the phone or have visitors the little rugrats suddenly demand your attention?

It’s like they have a radar tuned into the most important phone calls – thereby entitling them to up the ante a notch or three. At times I’ll tear through the house shutting doors behind me with at least one child hot on my heels as I try to escape their noise and appear to be carrying out a normal conversation.

I’m sure the person on the other end can hear the wind whistling though the phone as I hurtle around or perhaps the panting is the dead giveaway.

Likewise when someone comes to the door: cue showing off time. Take last week for example - I’m standing in the doorway trying to have a conversation with the man from across the road who’s come to drench our cows while Master Three repeatedly lifts my skirt up while laughing uproariously.

I know I’m not alone in this as whenever I entertain visitors with small children they face the same problem with their kids tugging at their hemline wanting their attention.

I’ve read the answer to this problem is to say: “Not now, mummy’s talking. I’ll be with you in a minute,” whilst placing a hand on the child as you finish your conversation so they know you haven’t forgotten to come back to them. It sounded good in theory but didn’t work with my lot.

“Mummy!” they’ll lower their voice to a stage-whisper only but repeatedly get louder and louder until it’s impossible to concentrate on anything else.

I’m still yet to find a method that works for that one but today the tables were turned by Miss Three.

She was, apparently, making some important phone calls in preparation for a tea party and “phoning” up everyone and sundry to invite.

The twins enjoying a tea party
when they were younger.

“Okay bye,” she said brusquely snapping the phone shut.

“Hey Jayla,” I started not realising she’d replaced that call with another.

“Not now mum, I’m talking,” she said in an exasperated tone.

“Okay bye,” I heard her say again before: “Now, what did you want to say mummy?”

It’s fair to say I was duly put in my place.

Anyhow, the tea party went off without a hitch and, as I was uninvited anyway, I made sure to steer clear and not interrupt Madam and her guests.