Mornings

As the Sanitarium ad goes: Let me tell you the truth about mornings. One is pretty much like another.

But that is where the similarities end. There’s nothing “dull” about mornings in our house. In fact, it’s like a tornado hits at 6.30am.

I admit, it’s not as bad as it was. The kids no longer wake at 5.30am but this sets us on the back foot in terms of getting anywhere on time. They also now dress themselves, make part of their breakfasts and brush their own teeth in the mornings. But no matter how prepared I am – making lunches the night before, laying out outfits (if I don’t, Miss Four is likely to show up to kindy wearing a purple polka dot boob tube with an equally loud but mismatching bottom piece), we still can’t seem to get out the door by 8.30am.

Well not without World War Three breaking out.

Recently I was describing our mornings to a friend. It went along the lines of repeatedly requesting three kids with painted on ears to get dressed, make their beds, pull their curtains, finish their breakfast, brush their teeth, pack their bags and line up for sunscreen. These requests become louder and less patient (okay, that’s a euphemism) culminating in the part where we all tumble into the car late and no longer on speaking terms. Then there’s the one-minute drive up the road taking deep breaths and calming down so we can part on good terms.

“Is it like that for you?” I finished, expecting an answer in the affirmative.

Instead she looked horrified.

“No! My god Jodi, that sounds terrible.”

I chose not to believe her. I once asked a mother of so many kids I’ve lost count how she stays calm. She simply shrugged nonchalantly like she took it all in her stride. Then, some weeks later I happened to be walking past her People Mover as she went completely off her nut at her tribe. It was like music to my ears and I just stopped myself performing an air punch.

Still, I decided to reassess my morning strategy.

I tried several methods: 1. Drawing up a chores chart which they each had to tick as they went along, resulting in a small amount of pocket money at the end of the week. This lasted two weeks before the novelty wore off and the meager pocket money forgotten.

2. Hiding the tv remote but they soon replaced tv with building block houses down in the kid’s lounge.

Finally I resorted to the good old oven timer. I resent the fact that they respect the oven timer more than their mother but whatever works right?

It was like a bomb had been put under them. There was a frenzied flurry of activity and, within ten minutes, all their chores had been done. There was no fighting and they all played happily while they actually waited for me to get ready! The washing was hung out and all the breakfast carnage cleaned up so I returned to a tidy house, sans children and ready to start my day.

We were like a different family as we drove to school and kindy. I breathed in well-being, breathed out calm and felt benign goodwill to all – especially the mothers still exhaling toward their fringes.

The kids must have felt it too for they now willingly do their chores without prompting (or threats).

Now, shall we start again? Let me tell you the truth about mornings …