Tangles

Those who always dreamed of having a little girl probably imagined spending special mother/daughter bonding time whilst lovingly brushing her hair.

Let me shatter that illusion and tell it like it is.

This daily task has the ability to turn the sweetest little cherub into a hissing, snarling, thrashing wild animal.

We go through this fiasco every morning before school. It’s usually last-minute as, being my least-favourite morning duty, it’s the one that’s procrastinated. It will see me chasing Miss Five the length of the house with the offending ‘weapon’ while she skedaddles it, squealing in terror.

Short of me pinning her down, it’s usually achieved following a threat along the lines of getting it all cut off until she looks like a boy and, eventually, she subsequently goes to school looking semi-respectable.

It’s not helped by the fact her hair is nearly down to her backside. Despite well-intended innuendos from the grandparents, she’s never had a hair cut in her life and that’s my bad. Because it originally took so long to grow, when it finally did I couldn’t bring myself to get her beautiful golden locks cut and now that she’s at school, it’s a case of finding it hard to fit in a trip to the hairdressers with her siblings in tow.

And there’s no way I’m touching it. The few times I cut my own fringe when I was younger, it always turned out uneven, requiring several further trims until I resembled a  China girl gone wrong.

But then last weekend her young cousin came to stay bringing with her a new hair brush which I shall not name for fear of being accused of taking commission. But it’s said to tame the wildest mane pain-free which I’d heard of but never really believed was possible.

I thought it was worth a shot so summonsed a weary-looking Miss Five my way.

At first she put up a fight, which was probably more psychological than anything else but, after a while I noticed she began to relax and actually enjoy having her hair brushed.

A miracle had just occurred.

Before long we had completed the job without so much as a whimper and her hair looked like spun gold. 

That was it – I was sold and went straight away to the website to make an order.

My mornings just got easier, my wild animal tamed and we now start the day off friends.

For those of you still faced with this daily drama, you’re probably wondering how to get your hands on one of these magical devices.

…Let me just call the company and see if they’ll put me on a commission rate and then I’ll get back to you.