Birds & the Bees - round three

There comes a time when we can no longer avoid the “where did I come from?” questions and realise a private little sit down talk is required.

Yes I’m talking about the Birds and the Bees.

It had reached the point where Master Eight was picking up on various “rude” words from a school friend who had been inducted (or corrupted) at an early age via his teenage siblings.

According to Master Eight, this friend had told him to Google the word “sex” and it was the tittering between him and his after school play date (another friend) that alerted me to the ipad where they were supposedly doing their homework.

The images on the screen were startling.

A subsequent ipad ban and word to the teacher ensued but I now realised I had some explaining to do.

The next night I sat him down and asked if he would like to know the real meaning and he said yes.

I’m sure you’ve all been inducted so I will spare the details. However, I finished by saying: “So you know when you were four and you asked me why those two flies were fighting? Well now you know.”

It went well and, apart from the horror to learn of his mode of exit, he seemed relieved more than anything. Perhaps I had left the talk too late – after-all today’s children are exposed to more than we were as kids.

It was quite timely rather, given the kids are currently undertaking a Keeping Ourselves Safe programme at school.

As well as learning all the proper body part names and what is right and wrong it’s put them on first-name terms with the local cop who conducts it.

We were walking home from school this week when a police car came along the road. Master Five started waving madly, drawing a lot of attention to himself.

“Settle down,” I told him.

But the police man raised his hand and waved back.

“That was Ian!” exclaimed Master Five, before turning and marching smugly down our drive.

# According to family therapist and parenting coach Diane Levy we shouldn’t rely on “The Chat” as with all knowledge children should be acquiring information in small digestible bits at a rate that matches their ability to understand and in a context that is happening naturally.

“It is a good idea if your children can have this information before they are five or six.  That way, you take charge of it before their friends can tell them. By the time they are old enough to identify reproduction with their own bodies (about seven or eight), they don’t feel betrayed because they feel that they have always known.”

Diane, who is a tv presenter, magazine panellist and author says to start early giving toddlers a vocabulary of body parts that will be familiar to them when the time comes to explain reproduction.

Sooner or later you may be asked, “How did I get into Mummy’s tummy?” That’s the easy question.  “You started as a tiny seed and you grew and grew and grew.” And then you may get the big question, “How did the seed get there?”  If you can manage it, just give the straight answer.”

Diane also recommends age-appropriate books.

“Most children are fascinated about how their body works. Expect your children to want these “stories” over and over again. As with all other books, they will need to hear them many, many times until they have integrated the information.”

More information on this topic can be found in Diane Levy’s book Of course I love you…NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM!