Clown Fever

I’m hoping, like the Pokemon, that this crazy killer clowns phenomena is just a passing phase. Although, judging by the amount of couples and groups walking past us multiple times glued to their phones while we were dining at the Town Basin recently, one would beg to differ if even that is going to end.

But this clowns thing, whether we try to keep it from our kids or not, they were always going to find out. It’s been the talk of the playground.

Master Ten came home the second Monday after the holidays full of it, having heard it from his mates. Then, catching a glimpse on the news, he, along with his siblings, was fixated.

Shortly after, it was the bedtime routine, amid much hysteria regarding killer clowns.

“There’s one at your window!” exclaimed the boys to their sister as she emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

She scuttled, right, into the lounge, instead of left towards her room, where she proceeded to stay for the duration of the evening.

“What are you still doing in your towel? Go put your nightie on,” I said, suddenly noticing the state of her an hour later.

“I’m too scared to go down to my room,” she whimpered.

“Oh for goodness sake, there are no clowns down there – the boys are just being silly.”

“But the news said there are clowns killing people – are they in New Zealand?”

“No, it’s all overseas.”

“Yes, there was one in Hamilton,” piped up her brother.

And so it went on. I finally got the kids to bed after ‘de-clowning the house’ but the conversation continued amongst them for a long time.

The next morning the hype continued and they went off to school ‘spotting’ clowns in the gardens and bushes along the way. By that afternoon it was the talk of the playground and tall stories of bravado were surfacing all around. One of Master Ten’s mates apparently kicked a clown in the privates while another ran one down with the car. By mid-week, Ronald McDonald had gone into hiding and Batman was now on the scene to hunt down the clowns.

But that was all last week and this week the talk has been on Halloween.

“So, what do you want to dress up as?” I queried after they asked if they could go trick or treating.

“Clowns!” replied the boys. “So then we can hunt down the real clowns.”

“But what if there’s a Batman who hunts you down?”

Their mouths dropped open while they contemplated this.

“Oh yeah,” said Master Ten. “Then I’m gonna be Batman.”

“Me too,” said little bro.

Needless to say, the jury’s still out on the trick or treating front this year.