My Least Favourite things

The antithesis to Julie Andrews song My Favourite Things for me would go something along the lines of: “Sticky tape and superglue, batteries and Chupa-Chups; Opening McDonalds toys  and likewise the Happy Meal cups; combing the knots amid hissing and snarl-ing – these are a few of my least-favourite things.”

“Mum, here’s your favourite job,” announced the youngest, handing over a roll of sticky tape and giving me a wry smile. Oh how I loathe finding the elusive end of the sticky tape, the request of which usually comes in the middle of cooking dinner with wet and slippery hands. And don’t even talk to me about superglue. How to use that stuff without gluing your fingers together is beyond me but let’s just say my fingertips have a permanent layer of dried glue and the bench a regular sheen from wiping up the fast-drying spill. 

Batteries? Like the superglue, which always needs replacing because the end has also glued itself together, these are a regular feature on the grocery list for toys and what-not but, on the plus-side, I’ve become pretty deft with the screw driver. 

Speaking of super markets, it’s standard practise for your kids to be eyeing the dreaded Chupa Chups at check-out and it’s all very easy to chuck a few onto the conveyor belt to keep them happy but then comes the hard part: opening the blimmin things! What, is the wrapper end super-glued to the stick or something? 

And don’t you just love it when you’ve sat down to tuck into your Quarter Pounder Combo, when three Happy Meal juice bottles (okay, they aren’t exactly cups but I’m no Eminem when it comes to rhyming) consecutively get thrust at you for opening, after you’ve already been bombarded with three Happy Meal toys ensconced in seemingly kiddy-proof plastic bags.

And the knots. It’s hard enough keeping on top of my own unruly mane, which tends to easily dread, let alone putting a seven-year-old through the torture of disentangling her lengthy locks – hence the transformation from sweet little girl into hissing, snarling wild animal.

But then at random times of the day, little warm arms, the hands of which still hold the vestiges of their tubby babydom, appear from behind to wrap around your tummy and melt away all those first world problems and these are a few of my favourite things.