Confusion

Sometimes you’ve got to wonder what goes through kids’ minds. You think they understand something we’ve taken for granted but, in actual fact, they have a completely different concept.

Miss Four: “I like your hair clips.”

“Me: “Thank you.”

Miss Four, still eyeing up my hair clips. “So will one day they get smaller?”

“Er, what do you mean?”

“I mean, will they fit me one day?”

I see.

“Ah, no, you will grow into them and, yes, you can one day have them, just like everything else I own that you’ve had your eye on.”

The next day:

“So when I turn five will I grow bigger?” 

“You don’t suddenly have a big growth spurt, you’re growing all the time – especially when you eat your vegetables,” I added in.

Of course this notion has derived form being told that ‘big kids’ go to school so a four-year-old must assume they suddenly get big upon starting school.

But I’m sure, had I not explained, Master Seven would’ve soon put his siblings in their place. He’s already made it abundantly clear they are not to play with him or his friends in the playground.

Somewhere along the line, between the ages of five and seven, the cuteness that was present on the first day of school, has gone and it’s now all about being cool in front of his friends. And younger siblings – especially, it seems, when they come simultaneously - are definitely not cool.

Except when one of them comes home from staying at their nana’s sporting the latest McDonalds toy which you were after for part of your collection. Then it’s straight off down the hall where, behind closed doors, secret wheeling and dealing is conducted until both emerge – one looking rather triumphant, the other unaware they’ve just been shafted.

But I guess there’s got to be some perks to being the oldest child and a little bit of bullying often comes with the territory.

Besides, they might as well milk it while they can because, one day, a younger sibling really might have that growth spurt and actually be bigger than them.